Once upon a kidnap
by Duh-hhh
Summary: Once upon a time, a dragon kidnapped a certain queen and a certain princess.


**REGINA**

"Why, dear. I'm so disappointed."

Regina Mills spit the words out though her teeth. Her jaw started arching by the whole time of gritting teeth, but she managed to keep sweet smile on her face. Except of a visual vein on her forehead, she looked much far pleased with herself.

Regina Mills wanted to claw her own eyes out.

Because, she was _the_ Evil Queen, who walk on the shattered glass before make a sight, she took a deep breathe in a vein effort to compose herself. As for the one having an extremely short temper, Regina knew her head was just two seconds away from explode.

"Don't you think it's a little- dramatic?" She hoped her word sounded as nonchalant and even as she intended, not I'm-very-now-fantasying-about-murdering-you as she felt. Her hand on the bars of cell went knuckle-white.

The dragon turned its enormous head to look at her. Well, she guessed it did to. Those yellow eyes were far too big to tell whether it actually stared at you or not. "No, darling. I don't think I'm doing dramatic." Maleficent smiled lazily with her teeth, which were huge as your height and could be deadly dangerous weapon if she wanted.

Because she was _the very_ Evil Queen, Regina wasn't as frightened as should be for a woman who was facing with a pissed off dragon. What she felt was, in fact, lots of irritation, and some fury, over dully fatigue, at herself. Regina had well known that her former friend had the will to come to her for revenge, and if they met again, she had to pay back for her little trick. So when the dragon broke into her castle at the middle of night, Regina wasn't surprised. Although she wanted to slap herself for letting the dragon go for the first place. To her defense, Regina hadn't had a single damn clue when she open the door so as Maleficent could fled away, that she'd be without magic in future.

"Oh, so you think destroying everything on the way of my castle and throwing the fire everywhere like a headless chicken isn't dramatic, at all?" Regina raised her eyebrows, putting all the sarcasm she had in her tone. "I think when you treat your mutual friend, dear, serving a tea is far better attitude than throwing her behind the bars. After all, we just meet for the first time in eighteen years! My, the time ruined you. What a shame, tsk." She clapped her palms and rubbed it together to keep from pulling her hair in frustration. No, she had spent a good hour to curl and pin her hair for perfect style. She wouldn't let this big, fat, stupid dragon mess it up.

"Yes, eighteen years, yes darling. You have no idea how glad I am to see you again," Maleficent's pupils grew narrow just like a cat in the sun light, gleaming dangerously. The blue fire started flashing around the nostrils and black smoke came out the monstrous mouth when the dragon spoke. "I'm so, so glad to see you again."

Regina stuck her tongue in her cheek. Well, better changing the subject. "So do I, dear. But however we've missed each other, let's stop the greeting here and move on. Why am I here? Is Dragon supposed to kidnap a princess?" She put a hand on her chest in gratitude gesture and made a curtsy for show. "Thank you so much for regarding me as such a young, but I once married a life time ago, have you forgotten? I'm a queen, or at the very least I was, not a princess." She drew a sorry look on her face, though it was undeniable that she was faking it.

"Oh, don't worry, darling. You know I don't forget anything." Maleficent emphasized the word '_anything'_ and Regina fluttered her eyelash innocently. "I don't just bring you here, but also a princess for your company. Look who I invite!" The dragon moved its head aside so that Regina could see a blonde lying in opposite cell. The golden curl was covering her face like a veil but Regina immediately recognized her. Of course Maleficent kidnapped her, of course. "Hmm, It seems our princess is a fan of oversleep. Let me wake her up." Then she flipped a cage with her tail.

Regina's jaw dropped. She knew that she was locked in the cell hanging in the air like a swing, but the sight of a cage tossed back and forth was quite shocking even for the Evil Queen. The blonde screamed during smashed and bounced up and down in the cage like a rag doll. Seconds later when it stopped, Maleficent hummed in satisfaction. "Good morning, darling."

Aurora didn't bother to exchange a polite hello with her notorious fairy godmother and did proper reaction as for the one who had swung like yo-yo; covered her mouth with her hands, making a gag sound.

Regina and Maleficent both winced in disgusting and took a step backward. "So," Regina said, tearing her gaze from the poor blonde. "You have a queen and a princess, I see. But I can't see the whole picture from here. Why did you kidnap us? If you want to take your revenge, you just could kill both of us."

Maleficent held her tale in an act of denial. "No, It's not that, darling. Killing you is not my intention." And she narrowed her eyes. "And I want to call this equity, not revenge."

"No? Otherwise I don't have any idea what you want. It's not that I have a prince to rescue me or so." Regina scoffed, tilting her head toward the princess still lying on the ground and struggling her breathe, and waved her hand. "And as far as I heard, your little princess' dear prince was dead, too."

Aurora made a gag sound once more but nobody gave a shit about her. A queen and a dragon glared at each other for a moment, and just about the air got heavy, Maleficent broke the tension as saying, "Well, darling. You may not have your prince, like you tell. But it seems that you two certainly have your knight, at least."

Regina's face went white. "What does that- You, You mean-" Her voice was tremble slightly in shock. It was the first time she showed her raw emotion after Maleficent kidnapped her. Regina clapped one shaking hand on her mouth. "Is, Is she-?" Panic started surging to her without permission.

"Yes, darling." The dragon purred, "Princess Emma is coming here to rescue you from a big, bad dragon's hand."

Regina screamed and started pulling the iron bars of the cell. "You stupid dragon- you such little- let me go!" She even bit it. "Open it and let me go!"

Maleficent laughed with her whole stomach, it made her dorm shaking. Regina losing her temper and making a fuss like a Neanderthal was such a great sight. It was so good for her soul. "So is it true, isn't it?" The dragon couldn't stop giggling, when Regina still kicked the bars. Small fire kept letting in and out through her nose as she tittered. "You so hate her, more than her mother. I couldn't believe it when I heard. You, hating someone more than Snow? No way! But now, now I can." Maleficent wiped the tears out of her eyes. "I have to admit it, darling. You are so cute when you squeak like a cat."

Regina wanted to pull the dragon's head off and tear her limb from limb, drop by the mill and grind it finely, then give the remains to rats before burn them all and finish her with throw the ash into toilet. "I don't hate Snow," She growled at the dragon, "I loathe her. Look at the dictionary, it's totally different."

Regina gave up the bars of cell and sank down on the ground. The mere thought of Emma White – or Emma Swan, like she kept insisting, but nobody look at her without reminding her parents so she kept called Emma White. - would save her just like a white knight itself made her stomach upside-down. All she did to her: robbing her of the magic, making a fool of her in the ball, having her around village to village, and a hundred other things, was not enough?

And if she'd make it this- Oh my God, if she'd actually beat this fat lizard and saved her— then Regina should-

"I don't want to marry once more," Regina leant her head on the cold metal of the cage. "I don't want to get married anyone. Especially that idiot." She moaned.

Maleficent blinked, "Marry? What are you talking about? Who is going to get married?"

Regina threw her the most you-idiot glare, "Of course me, who else? Did I as well turn your brain into a real reptile's tiny one? I remember you were smarter than this. Gosh, you're really wasted."

If you were good at reading a reptile's face, you could know Maleficent felt hurt but Regina was not in a mood. The dragon grumbled, "Let's suppose the universe want to screw me and a miracle happens so that your princess would beat me up and save you. But I still don't know why it end up you be with her?"

Regina growled with annoyance before explained, sounding like an elementary school teacher teaching the very basic math to a kid. "A princes-, a que-, whatever a heroin she is, she has to get married to her hero who rescue her from a villain. Like Snow and Charming and hundred other fools out there." Crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows, she huffed, as if the dragon was the biggest idiot in the galaxy. "My, God. Haven't you learned all these things after all we did? That's why you kidnapped me, isn't it?" Then she unlinked her arms and covered her eyes with one hand. "I can't believe I am a heroine in here, not a villain." She didn't know which was worse between killed by a fat dragon or married her nemesis.

"No, I have no intention being a cupid between you and your savior." The dragon made a face, sounding offended, "I kidnapped you as the result of a reasonable deduction."

Regina held her head and blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"Considering by the fact of having appropriate nutrition and getting proper sleep with regular exercise, and yet haven't given a birth still young enough, I mean, physically, I come to a conclusion," Maleficent said, looking pretty much proud of herself for a reptile, which doesn't have many looks as human. "You two will be the best dinner in my life."

There was a moment of silence, and another one, and then the other one. "Oh my," Aurora said, who listened whole the conversation, "Could you just- may you please, please give me another sleeping cure?"

"Oh, I want to, darling." Maleficent made a face, "But look at me! I'm a dragon now, not a witch, by my dear friend's help. I can't use magic!" She beamed.

"Gosh," Aurora croaked, sounding two second away from faint, "I couldn't imagine I'd prefer a sleeping curse." Then she actually got faint.

"So," The dragon said, suddenly looking hundred times dangerous than ten minutes ago. It leaned over her cage and regarded Regina like a dinosaur looking at a fine meat. "Are you still thinking I'm stupid?"

Did Regina mention that she want to claw her own eyes out?


End file.
